"You treat us like adults".

He said, without a hint of irony. It struck me how profound—and rare—that observation was. People often rise to meet the expectations we set for them. Treat them like adults, and they’ll act accordingly. Treat them like children who need constant supervision, and they’ll meet that expectation too.

As leaders, we must remain mindful of our biases, which influence not only how we treat others but also what we seek in them. If you're looking for reasons not to hire someone, you’ll find them—and potentially miss all the reasons to hire them. The same applies to promotions, performance reviews, or even casual assessments of effort. Subtle cues in our behavior signal what we expect, shaping others’ responses and reinforcing our beliefs. It’s a feedback loop we must deliberately disrupt.

Focus on Impact

I’m often asked about my dog Proxy’s exceptional behavior. People expect a complicated training method, but the answer is simple: I set clear expectations and trust her to meet them. People aren’t dogs, of course, but the principle holds. If we focus on meaningful impact—on the bottom line, on outcomes, on growth—that’s what we’ll get. When we focus on optics or platitudes, we’ll get those too, often at the cost of substance.

Recognizing Potential

This idea came up in a casual meeting over drinks with my CEO and a VC. The CEO championed the modern notion that action matters more than title. It’s a compelling idea, but I added that titles can still shape behavior in meaningful ways. For some, a title is an invitation to grow beyond it—to exceed expectations and surprise you. For others, a title is a role to be perfected, a standard to exemplify.

Both approaches are valuable, but they require different kinds of recognition. The go-getter who quickly moves upward might leave a trail of unfinished work for others to manage. Meanwhile, the master of their role, who achieves excellence within their scope, may become frustrated or burned out if their contributions are overlooked. Recognizing their potential and giving them the opportunity to grow can transform them into your best next-level leaders. Ignoring them risks losing talent that could have been extraordinary.

Leadership with Intention

As leaders, it’s incumbent upon us to:

• Set clear expectations: People can’t meet a standard they don’t understand.
• Recognize diverse strengths: Not everyone approaches growth the same way, and that’s a good thing.
• Challenge our biases: What are we looking for? What signals are we unintentionally sending?

Robert A. Heinlein wrote, “Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal.” This is a reminder that we tend to justify what we already believe. If I assume someone is slacking, I’ll find the evidence to confirm it. But if I take the time to challenge my assumptions, I might uncover a different truth—one that allows me to lead with fairness, clarity, and impact.

George S. Patton said it best: “Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” When we trust people to rise to the occasion, they often do.